“May this year bring about much happiness in your life. Although things didn’t go the way Hyou wanted them to, all good things come to those who wait. Trust me! This gift comes from the heart. It is given to a person who deserves it, because she is always giving words of wisdom to others. I hope you will never become speechless. Happy 15th Birthday! “
written in the jacket cover of my copy of The Harper Book of Quotations 11-30-99
There were three things that made dating and finding a healthy relationship even harder.
1. I didn’t truly believe that I deserved to be with someone awesome. I had made some mistakes in the past as we all do, but hadn’t quite forgiven myself. As a result I didn’t know if I deserved an amazing partner and so I didn’t attract or seek after amazing partners. Disposable Love: The First Cut is the Deepest
2. I didn’t really know what I wanted in a partner or what made sense with my specific values and lifestyle. If you haven’t given thought to your life and the key principles that define you and your lifestyle, you will find yourself pairing with others and changing to fit into their lifestyle. You will cyclically be lost, unhappy and in a state of confused internal conflict. If Not Love Then What?
3. I was trying too hard or “doing too much”. We’ve all done this, as embarrassing as it can be to admit. The truth is partnership is a lot of work, but it should also be enjoyable, and somewhat organic in its formation. Can you concretely remember when your best friend became your best friend? Probably not, because there was no grand gesture to establish said friendship. You probably organically became friends and over time strengthened the relationship. So why do we try too hard to make dating work? And how do we know when we are trying too hard? Don’t Get Surf & Turfed this Valentine’s Day: 5 Ways to Protect Your Wallet
This blog is here to help you navigate the internal and external challenges that come with the dating world. Through personal stories I give you dating advice to help you feel good about yourself, learn from your mistakes, and navigate the dating world a little more successfully.